I am not however new to Khemeticism.
I have something of a problem, and would like some suggestions//advice//help etc.
A few days ago was the anniversary of one of my friends' suicide. I could not get to Baton Rouge to visit his grave, and thus, was quite distraught. Later that night, I did something a bit foolish -- more than a bit foolish, really. I decided that since I could not go to him to speak with him, I'd bring him to me.
And so I meditated for a long time, a very long time, concentrating on him, and my memories of him, hoping I could sort of "will" him to me.
I knew better than to do such things, but as I said, I was really really depressed.
Finally I felt him. He felt warm, familiar, and good. The feeling was so intense, it made me cry.
After a while, I released him and he was gone.
When I had recovered from the experience, I felt that my room was not quite the same. Something felt amiss.
It was later that I realised I was sensing something else with me. Something foreign.
I decided to leave it alone. I was hoping maybe I was just imagining things, but I knew that this was the reason why I should never have tried calling to my dead friend.
It didn't leave. I decided to investigate a little and meditated some more. I "came to" hours later quite sore and drained.
Since, I have noted deep shadows moving about the room that I never noticed before. Granted, that could simply be the effects of an overactive imagination, but I don't think so.
I have not slept peacefully in a week -- plagued by horrid dreams, and waking usually within an hour or so feeling as though I had done some intense physical exertion. I am exhausted, and woke up this morning after an hour of the same restless sleep to find that I now have pink eye in both eyes.
I've not been near anyone with conjunctivitis; I don't wear contacts; and although I do suffer from seasonal allergies, the pollen count here is not terribly high, nor have I ever suffered pink eye due to allergies.
Which led me to only one conclusion. The unfriendly presence that I've been feeling must be the cause.
Now, I am familiar with wards, but never have I preformed a banishment or seen one be preformed. Furthermore, all of my friends with knowledge of this sort are currently in Baton Rouge whilst I am located in New Orleans for a few more weeks.
I figure that if I had enough "power" to will it here, then I should have enough to send it away, but I am, now, quite, exhausted and lethargic. The only conclusion I can draw is that it is doing this to me. For what, I don't know. But I don't think I can pull of a banishment in my current state, and would probably only succeed in provoking it.
Does anyone have any suggestions or advice? It would be much appreciated.